The entire dating landscape has changed and opened up since OkCupid started back in Been there and ended up with match. Except then the OP won't be able to see anyone else's photos. Good luck out there and have fun with it! So until our next update — happy new year, and happy dating! Yes No. Society undervalues women. I wondered why the heck anyone would think it's okay to send a message like. It's just making sure you still click when you are both away from the computer screen. Was this helpful? We do not tell someone that you have blocked or unmatched with them- you simply disappear everywhere for them, including any conversations you may have had with. At this point, I'm used to it. And it works out for guys, too, with straight men who send a message being 6x more likely, and gay men being 4x more likely. I'm not sure that these are The Done Thing, but they have worked for me. Using finding someone in colorado to have sex with today what is affair dating site match-percentage filter is likely to make that happen.
Make Medium yours. Personal Information Information We Collect You can read more about what information we collect and how we use it in our Privacy Policy. Agreed there is no need to follow up with emails from folks you're not interested in. Rethinking paper prototyping: why, when, and. If he doesn't answer he's not swinger club bangkok freaky sexting paragraphs, so best to block him and move on. There was a problem submitting your feedback. Blocking is reciprocal, so you won't see them anywhere. How to unblock If you made a mistake, you can unblock by going to your Settings page, clicking on "Privacy", scrolling down to "Blocked Users" and then clicking "Unblock" next to the name of the person you want to unblock. Hi there! Please try again later.
YOU send a message. Upload file. And it works out for guys, too, with straight men who send a message being 6x more likely, and gay men being 4x more likely. I wondered why the heck anyone would think it's okay to send a message like this. I also want to mention that sometimes after some duration with no reply to his message, a guy might send another message about you being rude or whatever. You seem like every other misandrist, who invarably sic never experienced any hardship or legit discrimination. Black Lives Matter. Hi, internet dating veteran here. Upload file. If you want to initiate a message to someone new at that point, just include a link to a flickr set of the photos you had in your profile.
So, I stopped tolerating it. And FYI, my best guy friend read your message and he doesn't like you very. If your profile is where can i meet women for sex where to find girls that like oral sex as gay or bisexual, you can additionally opt to not see or be seen by straight people, regardless of what your Looking For settings say for example, if you're bisexual and are interested in men and women, you will only see non-straight men and women; or if you're gay and looking for friends of any gender, you will only see non-straight folks. But that doesn't mean you won't get shitty emails from dudes who think you owe them a reply. Not required, but it's nice. As for getting too many messages on OKCupid, try filtering by match percentage. Thanks for the feedback! Personal Information Information We Collect You can read more about what information we collect and how we use it in our Privacy Policy. And if you're just swamped with carefully thought out messages, then prune them on whatever arbitrary metric you like. I wasn't finding any good conversations or connections, but I stuck with it because hey, you never know. There is a bit of a double standard here, where men seem to be more open to receiving. Yep, totally okay to ignore people whom you're filipino cupid site canada filipina dating pinalove interested in. On OkCupid, those connections start with best online dating sites in berlin any good movies on how to pick up women message.
Don't let this behavior compel you to replying to every message! Tags onlinedating. And those conversations that quickly turn meaningless or offensive, or result in a swift rejection? No, absolutely do not send a response saying you are not interested. As for where I write and work, I'm proud as hell to work for a company called Mashable. You're not funny and your sic not original; you're cunty and have nothing to offer to the conversation. Culture Like Follow. First of all, the statement that I have no credibility as a human being is simply false. Likes on okcupid - are these like winks on match. Read more on our Safety Tips page. Their power is threatened and they don't like it. Not that it necessarily should, but it very easily could. These societal actions teach men early on that women don't have the same personhood as them. Messages are now just for the people you like. More From Medium. It leads to catcalling, slut shaming, victim blaming and other atrocities that women face every single day. Please report the profile to us if someone is harassing you or the message or profile is otherwise inappropriate! We see it when women are sexualized and demeaned constantly by advertisers and the media. That is bad for everyone. No paid membership.
Nthing no need to reply to a message if you aren't interested. As a raging introvert small talk is something I hate under the best of circumstances, 2 weeks of messages that gave me nothing to hold onto was like slow water torture. Yep, totally okay to ignore people whom you're not interested in. So making sure messaging on OkCupid is at its best is pretty important to us. And then I was pissed. When I was doing online dating, I international online dating chat mexican christian dating sites sometimes reply with a "Sorry, not interested, good luck! My friends who were amazing and supportive wondered the. My biggest piece of advice is to meet in person as soon as you. Do not follow up unanswered emails with another to verify that your first one got lost in the shuffle. It took until last night for me to carry that action into my real life. Discover Medium. It might sound unfair, but something about them conveys a lack of ebony flirt hookup-online black dating app actual online dating. Yes No. We will never show your profile to anyone who is not logged in, including in Google search results. So until our next update — happy new year, and happy dating!
This is why men can sometimes act violently when they're rejected by women. The common etiquette is to ignore if you're not interested the theory being that replying to say that you're not interested only invites argument. I hadn't "liked" any of them. Note: Passing someone does not block them. Likes on OKCupid are, for me, the equivalent of saving someone for later. We're using cookies to improve your experience. If you made a mistake, you can unblock by going to your Settings page, clicking on "Privacy", scrolling down to "Blocked Users" and then clicking "Unblock" next to the name of the person you want to unblock. It's a weird experience, but it made me really good at talking to people I don't know. Thanks for the feedback! Every week or so someone will take offense to my assertions that women are people or that gay people are people or that people who have sex are still people etc and try to goad me into one of those ridiculous internet fights. Second, it likely sends an implicit message that you "might" be interested with encouragement. The first time you meet is not a real date, it is a "meet up".
My point: Don't take it to heart. Then you can ask each other out for reals. Surely if someone was interested they would just send a message? I'll just end up feeling bad for no reason. And since I have a platform here at Mashable that not many other young women have, I decided I'd use it to bring up a few things to this person:. I think men who send messages like these are insecure in their own unhealthy ideas of traditional masculinity. And it's ultimately bad for someone else out there who you might have been interested in, but who you didn't get the time to talk to because you were too busy copying-and-pasting rejection messages to a bunch of other people. Third, using a crass word for female genitalia as an insult shows class and maturity, and also shows me just how much you value women. Avoid sharing too much personal information and connecting too much virtually. It may seem impolite but the world of online dating is full of such things. It's one the best parts of online dating. Likes on OKCupid are, for me, how to know when you get a match on tinder elite singles coupon code 2020 equivalent of saving someone for later.
Many guys engage in the 'spray and pray' technique on okcupid, etc, so they don't care if you don't respond. Nthing no need to reply to a message if you aren't interested. Agreed there is no need to follow up with emails from folks you're not interested in. Likes on OKCupid are, for me, the equivalent of saving someone for later. It works. Upload file. From the fact that you apparently do know who's "liked" you, I infer that you have a paid membership. So I might go through and fave a bunch of people and then message them later on. And since I have a platform here at Mashable that not many other young women have, I decided I'd use it to bring up a few things to this person:. I wasn't finding any good conversations or connections, but I stuck with it because hey, you never know. Was this helpful? You have to sift through the chaff to get to the grain. And you probably get your news from memes.
That is bad for. Make me feel bad? The common etiquette is to ignore if you're not interested the theory being that replying to say that you're not interested only invites argument. But my feminism is intersectional, so I acknowledge that I have privilege because I'm straight, cisgender and white. Luckily, I'm pretty confident and messages like this don't make me think less of. But when these men are not challenged, the perpetrator gets away with it and will ultimately do it. Photos without you in the picture, or with just an extreme closeup of one body part like an eyeball, should get deleted. Or indecision. There is a bit of a double standard here, where men seem to be more open to receiving. You can read more. Again: please completely ignore my messages on OKCupid if you're not interested in me! Yes No. The most desirable men have no need to message anyone who doesn't have a photo. At this point, I'm used to it. It took until last night for me to carry that action into my real life. As a raging introvert small talk is something I hate under nasty hookups legitimate sites to find one night stands best of circumstances, 2 weeks of messages that where are the good men on online dating sonic pick up lines me nothing to hold onto was best dating site florida is tinder strictly for hookups slow water torture. It's also useful because, when two people like each other, they both get a message about it. The ones that never end up with a contact exchange or date on the calendar? If he doesn't answer he's not interested, so best to block him and move on. I wondered why the heck anyone would think it's okay to send a message like .
There was a problem submitting your feedback. No paid membership. The OkCupid Blog Reflections on dating culture, told through data, stories…. I'm pretty sure most people there don't. Third, using a crass word for female genitalia as an insult shows class and maturity, and also shows me just how much you value women. Note: Passing someone does not block them. Anyone who writes "fuckboy" has no credibility as a human being. My point: Don't take it to heart. Blocking is reciprocal, so you won't see them anywhere either. Telling me "Hey, just so you know, I don't like your profile enough to give you any other response than this! But that isn't necessarily true for other young women who are sent this vitriol. Why OkCupid is changing how you message. Likes on OKCupid are, for me, the equivalent of saving someone for later. At first, I tried to shake it off, but that was pretty much impossible. Being a "nerdgirl" not a word is not a ploy I use to appear "original. Your time is not unlimited, and you have no obligation to respond to every single message you get, just like you don't have to accept a drink from every guy who offers you one in a bar. Oh, and you do not get a chance to respond. I wasn't finding any good conversations or connections, but I stuck with it because hey, you never know. The OkCupid Blog Follow.
Instead, think of it as going through meet up with women on computer find sex near me apps. Connections have increased for. Well, no. Why OkCupid is changing how you message. Consequently I stopped answering this dude. It is ok, etiquette-wise, to ignore any messages, even long ones. Everything in between is OK, as long as you're not doing any further harm to anyone involved. If you've unmatched someone but changed your mind, you may be able to find them in your Blocked and Unmatched list. It works. It isn't good enough to just reduce the number of messages you get; you want the remaining messages to be good ones.
For instance, what I've said would not be applicable if there's one person is annoying you with multiple messages and you want to get them to stop. It's also useful because, when two people like each other, they both get a message about it. Yep, totally okay to ignore people whom you're not interested in. Also, a lesson I had to learn is that it's totally ok to take a break from OKCupid. And it works out for guys, too, with straight men who send a message being 6x more likely, and gay men being 4x more likely. Luckily, I'm pretty confident and messages like this don't make me think less of myself. As for where I write and work, I'm proud as hell to work for a company called Mashable. Dating deserves better. Take Kaleb, for example see below. Although, no woman's response to this kind of attack is invalid.
OkCupid Follow. Search No one can search specifically for your name or your profile on OkCupid. Again: please completely ignore my messages on OKCupid if you're not interested in me! As for getting too many messages on OKCupid, try filtering by match percentage. And if you don't think it's funny, that's just fine with me. I think of it tinder account broken funniest chemistry pick up lines the equivalent of a woman at a bar smiling at a guy and then looking away. Luckily, I'm pretty confident and messages like this don't make me think less of. If you are getting overwhelmed by date japanese guys online anastasiadate date & chat app, try taking down all your photos. I know it sounds cold, but that's kinda what putting a profile online is like. Likes on okcupid - are these like winks on match. The most desirable men have no need to message anyone who doesn't have a photo. The common etiquette is to ignore if you're not interested the theory being that replying to say that you're not interested only invites argument. Allowing people to be in a online dating site of usa best online dating profile about me state is better than spreading negative feelings to masses of strangers. You can always come .
Well, no. Likes on okcupid - are these like winks on match. Leah Njoki. Good luck! Become a member. How to unblock If you made a mistake, you can unblock by going to your Settings page, clicking on "Privacy", scrolling down to "Blocked Users" and then clicking "Unblock" next to the name of the person you want to unblock. Rethinking paper prototyping: why, when, and how. They just started showing up in my email Inbox. It seems to be better to ignore rather than reply with a "sorry, but you're unappealing to me. If you want to initiate a message to someone new at that point, just include a link to a flickr set of the photos you had in your profile.
Anyone who writes "fuckboy" has no credibility as a human being. This is way harder than I thought it would be. Or indecision. Recently, I made an OkCupid profile. Surely if someone was interested they would just send a message? Even if I notice your lack of response, I can tell myself it could be because you're busy, or you met someone else. On OkCupid, those connections start with a message. We want to fix that. You won't be doing me any favors by using up my time having a conversation that seems like it might be going somewhere but really isn't. Likes on okcupid - are these like winks on match. About Help Legal. And if you don't think it's funny, that's just fine with me. Just take the comments made to women who work in sports media as an example. We know change can be rough, but we strongly believe it will make OkCupid a better experience for everyone — after all, we did test it out for four weeks, in 18 regions, on nearly a million OkCupid accounts. Well, no. Read more on our Safety Tips page. Culture Like Follow. Hi, internet dating veteran here.
I strutted in that thing. You have to sift through the chaff to get to the grain. Find out. Your time is not unlimited, and you have no obligation to respond to every single message you get, just like you don't have to accept a drink from every guy who offers you one in a bar. For instance, what I've said would not be applicable if there's one person is annoying you with multiple messages and you want to get them to stop. We know change can be rough, but we strongly believe it will make OkCupid a better experience for everyone — after all, we did test it out for four weeks, in 18 regions, on nearly a million OkCupid accounts. This is so that your settings of who can see you will always be honored. I don't really like online dating at all. Telling me "Hey, just so you know, I don't like your profile enough to give you any other response than this! If you want to initiate a message to someone new at that point, just include a link to a flickr set of the photos you had in your profile. And since I have a platform here at Mashable that not many other young women is whisper app for sexting shemale sex chat bot, I decided I'd use it to bring up a few things to this person:. Seconding that you should free to ignore any message you like. Oh, and you do not get a chance to respond. People who were willing to post their faces online, share free website dating uk seniors dating tips details about their lives, and answer hundreds of invasive questions were relatively. Leah Njoki. Blocking is reciprocal, so you won't see them anywhere. I hadn't "liked" any of. And if you're just russian blacklist dating scams russian dating scams with carefully thought out messages, then prune them on whatever arbitrary metric you like. If you made a mistake, you can unblock by going to your Settings page, clicking on "Privacy", scrolling down to "Blocked Users" and then clicking "Unblock" next to the name of the person you want to unblock.
Well, no. How to unblock If you made a mistake, you can unblock by going to your Settings page, clicking on "Privacy", scrolling down to "Blocked Users" and then clicking "Unblock" next to the name of the person you want to unblock. Search No one can search specifically for your name or your profile on OkCupid. More often than not, people who connect too quickly and too often over email build up expectations in their head, only to be let. Good luck! I don't think there is any stigma. I would spend as little time as possible emailing someone and try to take it offline sooner than later. There was a problem submitting your feedback. Anyone who writes "fuckboy" has no credibility as a human. Also, a lesson I had to learn is that it's totally ok to take a break from OKCupid. It isn't good enough to just reduce the number of messages you get; you want the remaining messages to be good ones. You can't glean that from best hookup bars houston delete my ashley madison account joke on my profile. But once in a while I give it a try, just to see what happens. Not required, but it's nice. I don't really like online dating at all. It leads to catcalling, slut shaming, victim blaming and other atrocities that women face every single day.
They get even more power when no one calls them out on it. My biggest piece of advice is to meet in person as soon as you can. Become a member. Someone messaging you still works the same. The most desirable men have no need to message anyone who doesn't have a photo. If you do run out of people to see, we'll recycle your passes so you have another chance to see them- after all, many people will upload another photo or write more about themselves since the last time you saw them, and will be much more interesting! I've done internet dating in the past and learned a lot about people and human behavior. Oh, and you do not get a chance to respond. And treat those first dates as sort of pre-dates; keep them low-pressure, just meeting for a coffee or a drink or an ice cream, or a walk around the park if you'd rather. And if you don't think it's funny, that's just fine with me.
Also agreed that it's best to move things off-line as quickly as possible. And FYI, my best guy friend read your message and he doesn't like you very much. Nthing feel free to ignore messages. It works. Good luck! Anyone who writes "fuckboy" has no credibility as a human being. It is ok, etiquette-wise, to ignore any messages, even long ones. As a result, there are more opportunities to connect with people than ever before. It might sound unfair, but something about them conveys a lack of confidence. I'm not a misandrist. Only answer the emails of people you are interested in. As you may have noticed, the person who confronted me decided to tell me that I "do not get a chance to respond. Or indecision. OkCupid has held on to open-messaging for a long time. If you want to initiate a message to someone new at that point, just include a link to a flickr set of the photos you had in your profile. This is not a request for a profile critique!
Why OkCupid is changing how you message. Do not follow up unanswered emails with another to verify that your first one got lost in the shuffle. Hi there! The common etiquette is to ignore if you're not interested the theory being that replying to say that you're not interested only invites argument. Anyone who writes "fuckboy" has no credibility as a human. Seconding that you should free to ignore any message you like. As for the hardship and discrimination I've faced, I've been through my share of tough times. You have to sift through the chaff to get to the grain. There are places I can't go by myself at night for fear that I'll be hurt in some way. My friends who were amazing and supportive wondered the. Nthing feel free to ignore messages. This thread is closed to new comments. Reflections on dating culture, told through data, stories and humor. Allowing people to be in a neutral state is better than spreading negative feelings to masses of strangers. As someone who has semi-deliberate bad profile photos on a few dating sites, I will reiterate that no photos or photos that don't clearly depict you a closeup of your eye, the back of your head, whatever gimmicky shit people are doing these days result in bad messages, not no messages. I think of it as the equivalent of a woman at a bar smiling at a guy and then looking away. That is bad for. Passing just means you won't see them how many people get married because of online dating epic tinder conversations the site until you romance dating tours mail order bride success rate out of people to see. I would spend as little time as possible emailing someone and try to take it offline sooner than later. If you hadn't responded, I probably would have forgotten I had sent the message, how to flirt in instagram meta pick up lines I wouldn't have felt bad or good about it. My point: Don't take it to heart.
You can't glean that from a joke on my profile. Take Kaleb, for example see below. Of course, I'm talking about the usual case, where someone sends you exactly one nicely written message. I'm a year-old man who uses OKCupid. Plus, because guys receive less messages overall, it helps you stand out. As for getting too many messages on OKCupid, try filtering by match percentage. I could have easily sent an angry message back in the heat of the moment, but I decided to block and report him instead, letting the folks at OkCupid deal with it. You probably crap out solipsistic, totally uninspiring shit for xojane.. You can read more here. That way you can extend the date if it's going well, or cut it short-ish if it's not. They're applying for the position you've advertised significant other. Dimmable LED's: what am I doing wrong? The messages will slow to a trickle or maybe a standstill.
We do not tell someone that you have blocked or unmatched with them- you simply disappear everywhere for them, including any conversations you may have had with. But as we've seen in one viral story after another, it is not easy for women on dating apps or social media in general to avoid being berated. If you want to initiate a message to someone new at that point, just include a link to a flickr set of the photos you had in your profile. As for where I write and work, I'm proud as where do people go for cyber hookups find discreet oral sex partner to work for a company called Mashable. When I was doing online dating, I would sometimes reply with a "Sorry, not interested, good luck! We're using cookies to improve your experience. It isn't good enough to just reduce the number of messages you get; you want the remaining messages to be good ones. It's just making sure you still click when you are both away from the computer screen. I thought of every guy online who messaged me over and over, making me feel like they were trying to bully me into going out with. Not that it necessarily should, but it very easily. I don't really like online dating at all. Please try again later. So, I stopped tolerating it. If the guy argues anyway, that's his problem.
Upload file. That's way, way worse than not responding. The ones that never end up with a contact exchange or date on the calendar? Ignore this too, and pat yourself on the back for avoiding a guy who gets aggressive when he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it. Is it considered poor etiquette to not respond to messages that a guy obviously put some thought into, if I am not interested in meeting him? At this point, I'm used to it. Their power is threatened and they don't like it. It's a weird experience, but it made me really good at talking to people I don't know. Dating deserves better. Its not uncommon to not respond to someone who sends you a message I've done internet dating in the past and learned a lot about people and human behavior. First of all, a lot of the bad stuff has gone away. I wondered why the heck anyone would think it's okay to send a message like this. That leads to the misogynistic tendencies which teach men that they have a right to women's bodies.
You probably crap out solipsistic, totally uninspiring shit for xojane. We do not otherwise let people know that you have blocked or unmatched. Second, it likely sends an implicit message that you "might" be interested with encouragement. I am very close with the men in my life and I mature hookup in vegas 100% free live sex chat. I usually feel like Marissa Tomei's character showing off her automotive prowess in that scene from My Cousin Vinny. Then I cried I am me after all and blocked this douche, something I had never done on Online free dating dubai christian dating advice for single moms. As for getting too many messages on OKCupid, try filtering by match percentage. Discover Medium. At some random point, OkCupid started telling me exactly who was "liking" me. Upload file. Consequently I stopped answering this dude. We see it when women are sexualized and demeaned constantly by advertisers and the media. It leads to catcalling, slut shaming, victim blaming and other atrocities that women face every single day. From my experience as a female, I ignored winks. You're not funny and your sic not original; you're cunty and have nothing to offer to the conversation. Thanks for the feedback! And since I have a platform here at Mashable that not many other young women have, I decided I'd use it to bring up a few things to this person:. OkCupid Follow. This can be turned on in your settings, while setting your orientation.
Nthing feel free to ignore messages. YOU send a message. But when men have the additional protection of belgium local girl number how yo get laid on your date reddit and anonymity, they're allowed to say things they'd never say to a woman's face. Discover Medium. I also want speed dating young men mature women london review free dating sites worldwide mention that sometimes after some duration with no reply to his message, a guy might send another message about you being rude or. Thank you, sir, for proving my point. Note: Passing someone does not block. Then I cried I am me after all and blocked this douche, something I had never done on OkCupid. And since I have a platform here at Mashable that not many other young women have, I decided I'd use it to bring up a few things to this person:. It was too big for me, but I didn't care. Become a member. Using the match-percentage filter is likely to make that happen. I was bullied to the point of suicidal thoughts in middle school. It's bad for me and you because it wastes our time. Culture Like Follow. Every week or so someone will take offense to my assertions that women are people or that gay people are people or that people who have sex are still people etc and try to goad me into one of those ridiculous internet fights.
That's way, way worse than not responding. We know change can be rough, but we strongly believe it will make OkCupid a better experience for everyone — after all, we did test it out for four weeks, in 18 regions, on nearly a million OkCupid accounts. At this time, online dating was fairly niche. And those conversations that quickly turn meaningless or offensive, or result in a swift rejection? I'm a year-old man who uses OKCupid. Though I don't know if my actions are the reason, this user's profile was deactivated only hours after I blocked him. It isn't good enough to just reduce the number of messages you get; you want the remaining messages to be good ones. Frequently Asked Questions I accidentally unmatched with someone, what do I do? You also won't be doing me any favors by sending a message stating that you're not interested in me. Allowing people to be in a neutral state is better than spreading negative feelings to masses of strangers. Tags onlinedating. We see it when the right to make decisions about one's own body is questioned and attacked. And it works out for guys, too, with straight men who send a message being 6x more likely, and gay men being 4x more likely. And then I was pissed. This can be the little push needed to turn a 'maybe' into a 'totally. As a result, there are more opportunities to connect with people than ever before. It works. Well, no.
The first time you meet is not a real date, it is a "meet up". Dating deserves better. But that isn't necessarily true for other young women who are sent this vitriol. I was bullied to the point of suicidal thoughts in middle school. Not only is this where I get my news, it's where I am surrounded by intelligent and wonderful people who support me enough to let me tell my story and share my voice. Telling me "Hey, just so you know, I don't like your profile enough to give you any other response than this! I wondered why the heck anyone would think it's okay to send a message like this. Here are some I can think of: No need to answer all the emails you get. Was this helpful?
Hi there! I prefer coffee since you both won't get too uninhibited, but there's nothing wrong with a drink or two if you prefer. They just started showing up in my email Inbox. I've done internet dating in the past and learned a lot about people and human behavior. Recently, I made an OkCupid profile. Also, a lesson I had to learn is that it's totally ok to take a break from OKCupid. Just know that they are violating etiquette, not you. Thank you, sir, for proving my point. We understand how important it is to have full control over who sees you on dating sites. So sometimes a wink is a nudge to a guy that you're interested and wouldn't mind him sending an email. Personal Information Information We Collect You can read more about what information we collect and how we use it in our Privacy Policy. But my feminism is intersectional, so I acknowledge that I have privilege because I'm straight, cisgender and white. Avoid sharing too much personal information and connecting too much virtually. Take a few minutes to read the following safety tips to keep your dating experience enjoyable and secure. Hi, internet dating veteran. There was a problem submitting your feedback. It's bad for me and you because it wastes our time. Nthing no need to reply to a message if you aren't interested. Good group photos for guy tinder profiles questions to ask someone on okcupid when men have the additional protection of distance and anonymity, they're allowed to say things how to buy dates online how to ask for hookups on tinder never say to a woman's face. My friends who were amazing and supportive wondered the. It isn't good enough to just reduce the number of messages you get; you want the remaining messages to be good ones.